Last Words
by omegatrinity
Summary: SanjiUsopp. I mean...well it's not really. It has them in it. But there's no slashing or anything. Usopp has the best oneliners.


It was said that last words were always the thing to leave an impression. Sanji and Usopp had no such luck in this field, every last word was a witty comeback; a one-liner before a dramatic exit. The last words were the most important part of Sanji and Usopp's arguments.

"You might not be so feminine if you didn't curl your eyelashes." Sanji snaps his teeth together as if to end the sentence; he isn't thrilled when Usopp smirks instead of getting angry.

"And maybe you'd get some if _you_ didn't curl your eyebrow." Usopp knows how sensitive Sanji is about his eyebrows, how just the slightest word about it could send him over the edge. He leaves swiftly when Sanji's face starts to turn purple from sheer anger, better to make a quick getaway and come out in tact than stay.

Usopp one, Sanji zero.

Sanji vents over his cooking, angrily blowing smoke around his head; he's been through at least three cigarettes during the cooking of the fried rice, and he has to force himself from chucking it at the door when it opens.

Usopp slowly skirts around the doorframe, hoping to get the tools he needs without being caught by Sanji. Usopp always _did_ hate his shaking, hated how it tripped him up and all of a sudden he was on the floor face against the wood. He nearly cries when he hears the sizzling of dinner stop, and the clunking of shoes coming towards him. Sanji's found him, and it _wasn't _going to be pretty.

Sanji is seething through his cigarette now, pushing smoke out through his teeth and nose, as if he didn't look threatening enough. Usopp has every part of his body telling him to run, that if he doesn't Sanji's going to kill him.

It's too late. Sanji lifts the other boy by the straps on his overalls and raises him so that their eyes meet. No words are exchanged, and all Usopp can do is whimper and hope Sanji's cooled off since their argument earlier.

Sanji's relying on instincts, not sure what spur of the moment action he's going to muster up. He knows he's mad, and he knows Usopp's going to pay for it. He doesn't expect, however, Usopp's quick thinking.

"I'm sorry, Sanji!" Sanji is momentarily shocked; Usopp always stands by an insult, even more so if it's an exceptionally witty one.

"I'm listening." Sanji doesn't let the anger slip from his voice for a minute, refuses to let the sniper know he's considering forgiving him, that he won't kick his face in. He figures it works when a panicked look flashes through Usopp's eyes, if he thought that all he had to say was "I'm sorry" he had another thing coming. Sanji taps his foot to show just how irritated he is about the entire situation, figuring it'll rush Usopp and get a _proper_ apology.

Usopp goes in a completely different direction.

"Look, Sanji, I was just kidding, I like your eyebrows!" He looks as if he's about to cry, that if this doesn't get him out of a beating, he might as well just face the pain.

Somewhere in the back of Sanji's mind he feels as though this is just another one of Usopp's lies, that he's only saying it to get out of any sort of punishment, and as soon as he's out of arm's length, he'll throw it back in his face.

For some reason, Sanji can't think straight. Unsure of whether the close proximity of the two is throwing off any logic or the fact that he was so angry just three minutes ago, he drops Usopp to the floor of the galley.

"You'd better watch what you say, Long nose," Sanji says through closed teeth.

Usopp gets up and brushes himself off, a smile playing at the sides of his mouth. It's unnerving, Sanji decides, when Usopp smiles that way.

"I'll watch what I say…But you should watch what you cook." Usopp sauntered out the door with a whistle, Sanji was quick, but changing the subject threw him off _every_ time.

It took Sanji a few seconds before he could smell the burning coming from the stove, the fried rice quickly molding together to form a burnt pancake of what was once lunch.

Usopp always won with the last words.


End file.
